Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Surviving Stress

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been on vacation and just got back yesterday. Now, I have to finish packing for our move. The funny thing about all this stress is that I don't feel like it is really affecting me like it usually does. Normally, when I am stressed, my reproductive system just shuts down. I know I am dealing with a LOT of stress right now, but apparently it isn't shutting down. I actually ovulated this week. I guess all the prayers are being answered and my body is finally functioning properly. I'm still not going to get my hopes up and say I think this is going to be the month, because the odds aren't great, since we were on vacation and only got to baby dance once. But I am still so excited that my body is trying to be normal. I could use your input, though. Since my body is functioning properly, and I have such bad side effects from the Clomid, should I take it next cycle or go au naturale? Or, should I stick with the doctor's plan for me and go for round 2 of Clomid, upping the dosage to 100mg (which could make the side effects even worse)? I've been thinking about this all day and am unsure. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Tired Body, Wired Mind

It is almost 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't seem to get my mind to rest, probably because of all of the upheaval in my life. B and I are planning to move from Florida to Maryland in two weeks. There is so much left to do and we only have a few days to do it, because of our vacation. No, I wasn't crazy enough to plan a vacation in the middle of a move. I am just crazy enough to plan a move around a vacation. With so much stress in store, I feel pretty good about our decision to wait until after we are settled to start the next round of Clomid. I did go to the drugstore today to pick up my Norethindrone and Clomid (100mg this time). I doubt I will ovulate this month without it, because of all the stress, so I went ahead and refilled my progesterone, so we will be ready to go when things settle down. Well, I tossed and turned for over an hour and I rolled over and saw the outline of my husband in the dark, resting peacefully. Maybe it is just the hormones left over from my cycle starting, but as I was looking at him, I was overcome with love and gratitude. This has not been easy for us. We both want children so badly and I am so grateful to have him to lean on as I struggle with all of this. I could not ask for a more supportive partner. I wish I could understand the reasons behind the trials. I can look back and see possible reasons why the timing wasn't right before, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept when I know that we would have been just as good of parents then as we will be in the future. I have so many questions that run through my head on a daily basis. Why not us? Why can some crack-head or some teenager have a baby without even trying, but we have to suffer two miscarriages and go through the tedious tasks of charting and perfectly timing intercourse? It used to be called "making love", but now it has turned into "I'm ovulating. Let's do it." It shouldn't be so hard. This shouldn't be a chore. It's supposed to be easy, right? It's supposed to just magically happen on its own. You fall in love, get married, and have a baby. It's as simple as that; 1,2,3. I was always under this misconception that it was a decision. You decided to have a baby and it happened. Even though I have all these questions, I still have faith. I know that the Lord has a plan for us and it includes children. I KNOW this. All I can do now is keep living my life the way He would have me live it and do everything I can to make my dreams a reality. He helps those who help themselves, right? Well, I'm doing everything I can. I'm just going to put the rest in His hands. I pray that after the move the timing will finally be right and we will be blessed with our miracle.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Here's a GREAT article from Babycenter.com

Trying to Get Pregnant - Are You Trying Too Hard?

Trying to conceive is supposed to be a natural process that is easy, at least, that is what people would lead you to think. Yet, if you have been trying to conceive for many months or even years, you may realize that having children does not come easily for everyone. In fact, each month, a woman only has a twenty to thirty percent chance of conceiving. Most women will conceive within a year of trying, but a small percentage of women will still not conceive even after a year of diligently trying.

If you have been trying to conceive for any length of time you have probably been given advice from well-meaning or not-so-well-meaning friends or family. You have likely heard the suggestion that you need to relax and stop trying so hard. Maybe you were told something like this “I knew this couple that tried for years to get pregnant and as soon as they stopped trying, they got pregnant”. Or another common statement you might here is a story about someone who finally decided to adopt and then they turned up pregnant.

Is there any truth to this? Does trying too hard really cut down your chances of conceiving? There has been much debate about the impact of stress on fertility. Some researchers believe that stress impacts fertility but it is not clear whether the infertility causes the stress or stress causes infertility. There is no question, that fertility issues can put a strain on any relationship. For a couple trying to conceive, the journey often starts out with enthusiasm and optimism. After several cycles of trying, this optimism may soon lead to despair and frustration.

Although stress may have an impact on a couple’s fertility it is more likely that stress is the result of infertility not the cause. Most couples will conceive within a year of trying. For couples who do not conceive within a year or two of trying there is almost always a physical cause for their infertility. In fact, 90% of all infertility has an identifiable physical cause. Couples will want to be evaluated by a doctor if they have been trying for over a year and have not had success at conceiving.

What about the stories of couples adopting and later becoming pregnant? Does fertility improve when you stop trying? This is simply not true. Although, it is not completely unheard of for a woman to get pregnant after adopting the statistics do not show any improvement in fertility. The percentage of women getting pregnant after adopting is about 5 percent, which is the same as women who have infertility and do not adopt. (source: www.resolve.org)

Can you have too much sex? Does trying too hard cut down your chances of getting pregnant? Women only have a short period of time when they are fertile. Having sex frequently during this period of time will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Most experts recommend having sex at least every other day during a woman’s fertile period. It was once suggested that men with low sperm counts abstain from sex prior to ovulation to increase their sperm count. However, recent studies have not shown that abstaining improves sperm count. In fact In men with low sperm counts, the researchers found the volume of semen increased after prolonged abstinence, but the quality got gradually worse the longer the men held back."
(source:www.intelihealth.com)

The bottom line is that there is no such thing as trying too hard. The difference between a couple that conceives when trying and a couple that does not is not based on how hard they try. Implying that relaxation or not trying increases your chances of getting pregnant, only alienates couples that are trying to conceive and adds to their frustration. Exactly how do you try less when you desperately want a baby? There are no penalties for trying too hard. If you and your partner have been trying to conceive for over a year consult your doctor for fertility treatment options. Trying or not trying hard enough does not cause infertility.

A Tough Decision

Well, Aunt Flo decided to show up yesterday evening. I guess that makes my luteal phase 12 days long. I am just really grateful that she showed up on her own. This is the first cycle to start on its own without the help of progesterone pills. Well, since B and I have decided to move as soon as we get back from vacation on the 29th, we've decided to wait until next cycle to take more Clomid. We want to be settled into our new home before we start trying again. I think it will be easier to be able to focus on the tasks at hand without worrying about trying to get pregnant. Next time I will be taking 100mg of Clomid, though. Man, I just realized I have to find a new doctor up there. That stinks!

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Good News & The Bad News

The good new is that my progesterone test came back.

The bad news is that my levels were REALLY low. The doctor said that it doesn't look like I ovulated. I told them that my Fertility Friend chart shows that I actually ovulated a couple of days after the test. They told me to wait 7 days to see if I start. If I don't, I need to take a home pregnancy test. If that is negative, I have to take a progesterone supplement to "restart my system". After that, my dosage of Clomid will be upped to 100mg.

All in all, at least it's progress. I'm just glad that we are doing something. It's better than twiddling our thumbs waiting for it to magically happen. God helps those who help themselves. Right?

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Independence Day!


I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of my fellow Americans a Happy 4th of July! I am so grateful to have been born into this country where I am free to think and act as I wish. I consider myself an Independence Day baby, since tomorrow is my birthday. When I was little, I thought the fireworks the day before my birthday were for me. I had TWO days of celebration! ; ) I pray that I may be able to raise a child in this country and that he/she too will always be grateful for the freedoms given to us here.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What would you do?

Since my body is going kind of crazy, at the moment, I am sorely tempted to take a pregnancy test in the morning, but I'm so afraid of getting a negative. With my birthday on Saturday, I really don't want a BFN to ruin my day. What do you think? Should I test in the morning or wait a few more days? According to my Fertility Friend chart, I am 12 days past ovulation. Is that too soon to test? Thanks for your input!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Pelvic Pain

I woke up at about 6:00 (I normally get up after 7:00) really needing to run to the bathroom to take care of business. My bladder was so full that it hurt. Later this morning, while at work, I noticed that my pelvic area was really tender. I later realized that every time I needed to go to the bathroom, it felt like my bladder was pushing on my uterus, which was what was actually sore. I then started to have what felt like mild cramps and slight twinges. The twinges turned into actual pain that was shooting downward. The pain was getting much worse and lasted for over an hour. I called the doctor's office and the nurse told me that it was probably just my body reacting to the Clomid. She said that my ovaries were probably enlarged, even though I already ovulated. She said that she would run it by the doctor and if he thinks there is anything to be concerned about, they will call me back. As of right now, the pain has subsided, although my uterus is still really tender, and the phone has not rung.

I guess that means it is nothing to worry about, but it definitely has me thinking...Could that, in combination with my extremely sore breasts, be a sign of pregnancy? Is it too soon to test? My Fertility Friend chart says that I ovulated on Cycle Day 13, but I think it was more like Cycle Day 19. I am now on Cycle Day 24.

What do you think?

Have any of you ever experienced that kind of pain?
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