Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Does My Infertility Make You Uncomfortable?

almost everyone who knows me in the real world knows B and i are TTC.  i'm not ashamed of my infertility, so why should i keep it a secret?  i think it's always interesting to see people's reaction to it.  most people have no problem asking when we're going to start trying or why we don't have kids.  but B and i have very different approaches to answering these questions.  my response: well, we've been trying for a while and have come close a few times, but it just hasn't happened for us yet.  we're crossing our fingers that this'll be the year, though! (cue the sympathetic nods)  B's response (he likes to mix it up) #1: i'm allergic to kids.  #2: we're saving up for a lake house. #3: i used to have one, but i traded it for the cats. #4: my parole officer doesn't really think kids are a good idea for me. (my fave!)  some people get that he's joking, but for those who don't have a sense of humor, the looks on their faces are priceless.


people treat you a little differently when they know you're an infertile.  they walk on eggshells around you, or are unable to talk to you about anything other than your "situation", or avoid any conversation with you at all. these are especially noticeable when you've been invited to a baby shower. ugh! the dreaded baby shower, the one place you can't escape your status. everyone throws pitiful looks your way, soothingly pats your arm when presents are being opened, gives you "special" questions during the baby trivia game, asks you how your pets are doing... but, don't worry, the invitations will dwindle and, perhaps, cease altogether.  after all, you make fertiles uncomfortable and who wants debbie downer at their baby shower??  as for me, i try my darndest to put on my happy face and even give the fertiles some advice of my own ("oh, the epidural is the way to go! would you get a root canal with no anesthesia?!?" "i love the name larry. i can just picture it now: baby larry. adorable!" - i didn't say it was necessarily good advice!) and attempt to participate in their stories of poopy diapers and binky dilemmas and even go to the extreme of giving the best present of all, because someday it will be my turn and i want to have lots of friends there with lots of awesome loot for my kiddo(s) and for that to happen, i need all the good kharma i can get! so, bring on those shower invitations! i'll be there with bells on!

3 comments:

Blooming Woman said...

hahahaha! this post is amazing :)

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Looks like you are just getting your testing done! Keep you sprits high through all this! Welcome to this wonderful world of blogging!

Oh - and way cool that your insurance covers all IF procedures! What a bonus!

Sheryl said...

LOL--you are the best. Those goods will come rolling in. You and B are such great peeps. Hugs to you!

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