Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What to Expect When You Expect to be Expecting

here's a bit of my own personal brand of humor. even we infertiles need to laugh! as B always says, "anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of".

  •  lots of blood work (the word "prick" comes to mind)
  • ultrasounds with the ever-popular "magic wand"
  • surprise (and some not-so surprise) visits from good ol' aunt flow
  • a really fun, cramp-inducing HSG (i'm so looking forward to mine)
  • lots of non-spontaneous, romance-lacking, passion-repelling "love making" (remember when it used to be fun?)
  • no more caffeine (goodbye coke zero. you'll be missed dearly!)
  • temp taking, lots of temp taking, along with charting every single dip and spike and any odd sensations or symptoms you may be having (so much for "relax and it'll just happen")
  • unsolicited advice - everybody's gotta get their two cents in, whether you want to hear it or not
  • multiple peaks at your hoo-ha from multiple people: DH, RE, OB/GYN, nurse, ultrasound tech...
  • the dreaded 2 week wait...over and over and over again, usually resulting in tears
  • listening to your DH whine about all the times he has to go in a cup (well, this ain't no picnic for me either, bud!)
  • prenatal vitamins (aka horse pills)
  • sudden rampant pregnancy disorder (SRPD): this is a neurological disorder in which someone suffering from infertility will suddenly see baby bumps everywhere they go, as if pregnancy is a contagious disease that everyone else is catching. symptoms include: staring, obsessing, glaring, crying, pouting, and standing in front of a mirror with something stuffed under your shirt or pushing your tummy out in an effort to see what you would look like with a baby bump
  • gestational hypochondria: usually occurs during the 2WW, where the infertile over-analyzes every twinge, ache, and cramp, convincing herself that they are pregnancy symptoms
  • complete and irreversible insanity


Julia said...

Yes, yes and more yes.

~*Andrea*~ said...

So VERY true!! :)

Blooming Woman said...

Hahahaha! So sad, but so true ;)

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