Thursday, April 7, 2011

Bracing Myself

the two week wait is just one excruciatingly long bout of psychological torture. one minute i'm thinking "my boobs hurt so bad - i must be pregnant!" and the next minute i think "i feel like AF is about to show up. so much for this cycle." it goes back and forth, back and forth all. day. long. i swore i wasn't going to do this. not this time. when i started this cycle, i told myself that this cycle wasn't meant to bring a BFP, that it was just a stepping stone to IVF. i was so positive that the IUIs were going to be a bust, just a necessary part of this process, but here i am over-analyzing everything and fighting back the urge to convince myself that it worked.


let's break it down, so you can see the craziness going on in my head today. these are my "symptoms" along with my interpretation of them.


  • cramps - AF is on her way
  • twinges - sister to the cramps
  • sore boobs - i should probably stop pinching/poking them
  • stuffy nose/cold-like symptoms - i've been kissing on B and he's a big sickie right now
  • tired - i haven't been sleeping well, probably because of B coughing all night
  • vivid dreams - i'm totally stressed out over all of this
  • lower back discomfort -  i just need a good massage
  • emotional - hello, hormones!
  • headaches - well, i am having conversations with myself and am now bordering on crazy
now, i just need to distract myself for the next 24 hours. i can't wait for the office to come on tonight! i need some laughs!

11 comments:

Nathan said...

I have been thinking about you all week and especially today. I cant even imagine the rollercoaster that you are on. Either way, I'm here for you and ready to be your little cheerleader.

P.S. hate to burst your bubble but The Office is a rerun tonight.

Deborah said...

besides the cramps, twinges and stuffy nose, I have ALL the same "symptoms"!! Good luck tomorrow.

Marianne said...

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you are not alone. We all do this to ourselves. I just really hope and pray it's your cycle! xoxo

Kerrik said...

Wishing you lots of luck!

Baby Hopes said...

Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you get some good laughs tonight! I felt the exact same way through the IUIs... I'm really hoping this one brings you your baby...

Rosachka said...

Carlia, Good Luck!!!
It is so unfair that the pregnancy symptoms are the same as AF symptoms.

You are hilarious as always, thanks for making me smile. I am hoping for good news soon and looking forward to reading your funny posts about your pregnancy.

Josey said...

I feel like I'm in torture for you!! HOPING AND PRAYING AND CROSSING EVERYTHING for you tomorrow!!!

New Year Mum said...

Sorry about my slow commenting this week :( The 2WW definitely screws with our head... and the drugs don't help either. Hope your symptoms are a sign of a BFP :)) FXd for you xoxo

Rebecca said...

Man, I hate the last few days of the 2ww. Wishing you wonderful luck!

Amanda said...

I seriously could have written this post myself. I told myself the EXACT same thing this cycle "there's no chance of a BFP because of the fluid in your uterus, so just don't go there this time" Yet, here I am, full of hope and phantom symptoms. It's inevitable I guess. (although yours are a little more convincing than mine!)

Good luck xo

SLESE1014 said...

since I've basically just started my 2WW, I'm already bracing myself....

Yes the docs gave me really good numbers but I'm going with my fear of being let down before...

I just don't want to analyze every twinge, stinger, or cramp....

thinking of you and sending you good luck vibes!

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