Wednesday, May 25, 2011

No Mas

it's officially official. my hcg level is down to 24 and i started miscarrying this morning (oh, the pain!!!) at work and, unfortunately, i was so swamped that i wasn't able to go home early to put on the heating pad and lay down. i wound up working the full day (i even left late), but accomplished a ton and looked fabulous doing it (when i wasn't tearing up/scrunching up my face from the pain). my boss paid me a huge compliment and told me that she thinks i am handling all of this "magnificently". she then encouraged me to take tomorrow off. we'll see whether i do or not.

anyway, that's then end of my blogging about the miscarriage. it sucks majorly,  but i just want to get back to some sort of normalcy. so, i am currently embarking on a quest. i have made a list of things i can do now that i couldn't do if i were pregnant and i'm going to try to cross off as much as i can before we start our next IUI. don't laugh; i'm serious about this. i'm not going to do anything wreckless, but i am going to go caaa-razy with it! ;)

i'm sure you're wondering what's on the list, so here it is:
this is the color i want. gorgeous, right?
  1. take a dose of aleve. i am so daring! none of that weak tylenol for me. i'm going for the good stuff.
  2. drink a 2-liter of coke zero all by myself. i gave up caffeine months ago, but i'm going to drink it just for the sake of drinking it. ain't i a rascal?
  3. revamp my hair. i'm not wasting my time just polishing my look; i'm going for a major over-haul. fire-engine red, here i come! okay, maybe not that bright, but sort of in that direction.
  4. spray paint a picture frame. no, i won't be huffing anything, but i'm not going to be that careful, either. ;)
  5. clean the litter box without rubber gloves or a medical mask. *gasp* very risky, indeed.
  6. go for a run. oh, how i miss running! i know it's not that entertaining of a task for my checklist, but it definitely belongs there.
  7. do jumping-jacks. not for the exercise; just to spite my doctor's instructions.
  8. eat sushi. errr...i would do this one if i liked sushi. i think i'll skip this one
  9. go sky-diving. hhmmm...but i'm not suicidal, so this one's going to get skipped, too.
  10. eat a whole box of cupcakes. (thanks to my awesome friend, sarah, for dropping them off for me!) actually, i'm already half-way done with this one.
did i miss anything? i'm open to suggestions!


Bridget said...

Love the hair color idea! I say skip work tomorrow and take the day for yourself. hugs.

E and R said...

So sorry you are having to go through this.
Love the list (those you will and won't do)!
I agree with Bridget, you deserve a day for yourself!
Thinking of you.

CrysHouse said...

Drink a bottle of wine!

Ride a rollercoaster.

Eat lunchmeat and bleu cheese.

Sarah said...

I am in LOVE with this list! I'll try to think of some other wild things for you to do. Oh, I know! You should jump on a trampoline! I'm sure that's an IUI no-no. I hope that Aleve helps - I love it. I was wondering if your boss knew. I'm glad she's clued in. I'm thinking you should take Friday off instead and have a long weekend. Hey, maybe you and B could go to Hershey Park or some other place with roller coasters and what not. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything!

Sarah said...

How about going to get a bunch of X-Rays, just for the hell of it? :) In all seriousness, I am so sorry for this loss :(

Maria said...

I love this list!! #2 #5 and #10 are my favorites!! Have fun with them! :)
You go girl!!!

Deborah said...

I L-O-V-E the hair color. When I finally donate my hair I'm thinking of doing a red color, but not sure the shade yet. Do it girlie!! And do ibuprofen. Or is that Aleve? I have some pepsi/coke I'll bring over.

Rebecca said...

Love the hair color idea! I've been thinking a new hairdo would be grat, too. Definitely go for the aleve and cupcakes and take the day off.

I'm all about wine this weekend!

clewis said...

The list sounds brilliant. I so would love some Coke too!!! you drink that and enjoy every sip.

Gen said...

LOVE the hair color, you have such beautiful eyes it would just compliment them even more.

Your list cracked me up - I'll enjoy the sushi for you I LOVE sushi.

Definitely take the day off and just do whatever you want - sleep in, wake up on time, not take a shower, cry, mope, be productive. Do whatever YOU want.

Miss Mac said...

Relax in a hot tub! Whatever you choose to do, whenever you choose... just take care of yourself! Hang in there.

Diana said...

Hey there, I am new to your blog and I look forwrad to following you in your journey. I'm sorry you are going through pain. Please take care of yourself.

* big hugs!

B- said...

I definitely did the wine/beer on the day of my BFN! It was the best wine I ever had! I also started running again the first day I was feeling better (after AF started).

I also told my husband that I wanted to drive to Cedar Point before our next IVF- I don't think its going to work, but I am wanting to do roller coasters!

The red hair idea sounds like fun! I am kind of biased towards red heads though! :)

I hope you start feeling better soon!

JustHeather said...

I love your lists of to-do's! I think I'd pass out from soda overload if I drank a whole 2-liter bottle alone (it's all I can do to drink a can), but I'll definitely eat the sushi for you. Thanks for reminding me, it's been on discussion here for a week or more. And I'm totally jealous of the cupcakes!

I agree with others about a drink. I'm going to have a pear cider tomorrow (my 2nd alcoholic drink this year!).

Tiffany said...

Aww I'm so sorry! I can't believe you stayed at work... you are one tough cookie! When I was miscarrying I was admitted to the ER with so much pain and puking! I know how you feel with wanting to "do stuff" before you start all over again. We're doing that for the next 5 months until I'm done with the Lupron. Have fun! Enjoy your new hair color and the junk food! :o)

Natalie said...

I took three days off work for bereavement - and silently dared HR to question it.
I ate ice cream and cheese for days.
I cut and colored my hair.
I bought new cups.
I bought new clothes.
I bought that expensive lotion in my favorite scent that I never splurge on - and then I bought the body wash too.

I think this is the first time I've ever read someone's tale of having pretty much the exact same reaction. (Except you're obviously much more responsible and committed when it comes to your job.)

Lara said...

Here from June ICLW. I've been reading through your journey. I really love this list!

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