i've spent a lot of time thinking about the things i'll do when we finally have a child. i'll take her here, i'll buy him that...blah blah blah... what i forget to think about is the the list of things i won't do when that happy day arrives. so, for future reference, i thought i'd put that list together to help prevent me from falling into the sappy and sometimes disgusting traps that other new parents sometimes do.
10: i won't film my child going to the bathroom, whether or not i think the face he/she makes when pooping is adorable.
9: i won't call that poop a "boom boom". that's just weird.
8: i won't breastfeed my child past the point of being able to converse with them. as soon as they can say "mommy, i'm hungry" and point to the boob it becomes creepy.
7: i won't dress myself and my child in matching outfits. (nothing better than seeing a mom and her daughter wearing the same polka dot dress. ick!)
6: i won't succumb to the baby talk. "baby want bah-bah?" like nails on a chalkboard.
5: i won't put the cat in the room with my kid while i run an errand and call it babysitting.
4: i won't try to arrange a marriage with the baby across the street...at least not right away.
3: i won't save the umbilical cord or placenta for a keepsake to hang on the wall or display in any way, shape, or form. ewww, ewww, ewww!
2: i won't use my bare fingers to pick boogers out of my kid's nose in public (or in private). i've seen this happen way too often and it just gets more disgusting every time.
1: i won't have my baby's face tattooed on any part of my body. what, do you think i want to have to look at something like this for the rest of my life:
what won't you do as a parent?
***just a reminder to send me your humpday hero nominations at storkdropzone at gmail dot com
***it's still not too late to enter my latest give-away. (hint, hint)