Thursday, September 15, 2011

Fret Not, Little Bloggers!

i know it must seem like i abandoned you all, and maybe even scared a few of you, with my absence. i truly apologize for that! i have a really good reason for going MIA, though. well, i have a few, actually.

reason #1: my sister and her family decided to come visit for a while. i love having them here!!! especially my little nephew. you may recall my previous post about little E. he is just as hilarious as ever.

reason #2: we moved! the perfect house pretty much fell into our laps and we had to act fast. hence, a really quick move which kept me away from the computer for way too long.

reason #3: i cancelled my IVF cycle. now, before you freak out, i have to make a confession. i kept a teensey-weensey detail out of my blogging. B and i actually skipped ahead a few steps earlier in the year, before we jumped into trying to knock me up. it's been so long and we want a baby so badly and my body just hasn't wanted to cooperate, so...we took a leap of faith and doubled up on our efforts to have a baby by going the surrogate route, as well as pursuing trying to impregnate me.

yeah, i know that came outta left field right there, so take a minute to pick your jaw up off the floor and process all this, because there's more.

so, we didn't really expect anything to come of it, not with our luck, at least, and we didn't want to really open ourselves up to any of the questions or criticism that often accompany surrogacy. therefore, i left it out of my blog.

well, as you probably guessed, something did come of it. after getting paired with a surrogate we felt comfortable with, our little freezer babies were transferred at about the same time as my second IUI. we were both pregnant and we were so hopeful that we would get to have "twins". with all that happened with my miscarriage, it just never felt like the right time to share the news of our other pregnancy.

it was really difficult to deal with the conflicting emotions of our loss and our gain. i felt guilty for feeling so distraught when i knew that we still had a baby on the way and i felt guilty for feeling excited about our little blessing when i should be grieving the loss of our child.

hoping to lighten the load on my mind, we had planned to see how things went with the pregnancy and to go ahead with IVF, not putting all of our eggs in either basket. however, just before i was supposed to start my cycle and with things progressing with the pregnancy, i had a bit of a freak-out moment at the beginning of august. back-to-back babies! that's all i could think about. what would i do if i had two babies a few months apart?!? i would be completely overwhelmed, that's what i'd do. needless to say, i cancelled the cycle and decided to focus on our impending delivery from the stork.

i feel good about this decision and B has backed me up all the way. the plan now is that we welcome this baby and a few months later go forward with the IVF.

i'm sure this is all confusing and you must have countless questions, but this is a very sensitive topic. we really don't want this experience to be about the surrogacy. we only want to focus on the baby, so i ask that you please respect our privacy by not asking questions about anything surrogacy-related. it's important to us that this be treated just like any other pregnancy, as if i were the one carrying this child. don't get me wrong, i have no regrets about going this route and no embarrassment about needing to use a surrogate. i just want to be treated like any other expecting mommy.

so, that's the end of talking about the surrogacy...and the beginning of talking about all things baby!

as of right now, we are at 23 weeks, due january 9, 2012 and we are pleased to announce that this baby is definitely a...

drumroll, please.

BOY!!!

isn't he beautiful?

i also wanted to thank all of you who commented/emailed me to see how i was doing. it means so much to me to know that so many people care about me. i have the best readers and the best friends!!!

35 comments:

SHILLIG4FAMILY said...

I've been missing you like CRAZY but didn't want to bug you, sometimes ppl just need a blog break ya know? WELL! Miss thing, I'm so excited for y'all and that sweet little boy and I can already picture all his precious pictures you will take. What a blessing! Can't wait to hear names :) I bet you have some good ones stashed away.

Baby Hopes said...

OMG. I am seriously in tears. Absolutely tears of such joy!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have been worried like crazy about you. I'm just so very, very grateful that your post back brings such great news. Of course, my heart is so heavy with all of the loss you have faced. But I completely understand the joy that comes with your child coming along amidst any heartbreak and loss. It's hard, but there is no less joy we should feel as expecting mothers!!! Wishing you the very best, and supporting you all the way!!! Sending so much love and joy!!!

Sarah said...

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! :) :) This is the best news!!! I was so worried about you and I even sent out a blog alert to see if anyone knew how you were doing! I kind of had a feeling that big things were happening for you and you were just taking your time in announcing! Congratulations!!! :) A boy!!! Holy cow. :) So happy for you and your husband. And I'm super glad you are not a face on a milk carton...

A m a n d a said...

OMG!!! I'm just in shock right now. My mind is trying to catch up with what I just read. I'm SO FREAKING HAPPY for you!!! Congratulations! Although it was a difficult time with your loss, I'm so happy that you had this joyful news to comfort you. What a beautiful little boy! You deserve all the happiness in the world Carlia! xoxox

Diana said...

I've been wondering where u were at!!! I'd come to ur page and worry! But I can see it was allllllll for a great cause!!!!!

HOW EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you and your husband! That little boy is precious! :) can't wait to see pictures and hear more! Glad ur doing well :)

Jen said...

Wow! What wonderfully amazing news! I can't wait ti hear all your plans for your new little one, and see what you are up to with your new house! Congrats!

Rebecca said...

WOW!!!!! What absolutely incredible news!! I am SO excited for you!! This really is just wonderful!! (I can't stop using exclamation points!)

CONGRATULATIONS on your SON!!!!

Bridget said...

I was so worried about you!! But now I can see you had so much going on and I am so happy for you!! What a handsome son you have there <3

Just Us & A Miracle Baby too! said...

Wow! What amazing news!!!! Congrats :)

Ashley said...

Wow you have a wonderful looking little boy! Such a blessing! Congrats and I can't wait to follow your journey! What are great way to start 2012 or end 2011 ;).

E and R said...

What a blessing! Congratulations!!! Our due dates are just days apart - mine is January 14 :)

butterfly said...

I am so HAPPY for you both! Congratulations!!!! He is so adorable!

Natalie said...

YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! So excited for you!!! Congrats!!! Can't wait to see his perfect little face.


(Also, glad you're not dead.)

Andrea said...

WOW!!!!! Congratulations on your baby boy and the new place!!! Exciting times ahead for you! :) What a wonderful way you'll be ringing in the new year! You must be over the moon and rightfully so!!!

SLESE1014 said...

Congrats!!!!! How exciting...you're only a few weeks behind me....I can't wait to hear more!!!! In 17 weeks you're going to be bringing a baby home!!!! So much to do! Such blessings!!!

JustHeather said...

Many congratulations!!

Josey said...

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I've been so worried about you b/c of your silence. This is the best news ever to jump back into the blogosphere with!!!!!! Congrats, Carlia!!!

Natalie said...

Aw Tears of happiness for you and your husband! This is so awesome! Josey linked to the good news, so I had to come by and say congrats!

Beeker's Mom said...

I'm new to your blog, but congratulations to you! Such a miracle.

Heather @ A Little Hope in My Pocket said...

Oh my goodness - congratulations!!!!

A said...

wow, what a surprise! congrats :)

Tiffany said...

That is absolutely amazing! Such great news! Congratulations!

3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Baby said...

Babies come in all sorts of ways, and they are all precious!

Congrats on your upcoming addition, your son!!

Gen said...

Now this is an update! Glad to see you back in the blogging world and also glad to hear about all the wonderful new happenings in your life!

Can't wait to see all the little knick-knacks you make for your son :)

NewYearMum2.blogspot.com said...

What a fantastically wonderful secret :)) Congratulations... great news :) I was wondering how you were doing... and so great to hear that all is going so well xoxo

B- said...

Most awesome news!!!! Congrats! Spook happy fir you! I had been thinking about you for a while and so glad to see such a happy update!

Miss Mac said...

Now that is a surprise and must have been hard to keep such a secret, wow! Yay! So happy for you and B! I had to read this twice and the smile kept getting bigger! Congrats Carlia!

marilyn said...

wow! whatever it takes! I am just so happy you are getting your dreams to come true! that is all that matters

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

OMG! What wonderful news! I am so happy for you guys! I'm sorry for bugging you while you were MIA but I was worried!

Maria said...

Ahhhh Carlia! I have been on your page back and forth for months and I just saw your name on Diana's page! Was SO excited to see you! :)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I am so so happy to read this! I wish you all the best!! Hope you're doing well! I've missed your wonderful self!
Xo
Maria

unaffected said...

How wonderful!!! Congratulations on your little man! He will be here before you know it! :)

Kayla and Josh said...

wow i was looking every day for a new blog post. and the week i forget to check you updated like crazy! i am sorry. i've been waiting for this post! congrats again! i can't wait to meet the little guy! he's gonna be a hunk!

Kait said...

I just found your blog today, and have to thank you for sharing all that you have been through too! What a journey already! I wish you and your hubby... and baby boy the best! So happy for you all!!

Shannon said...

Ok, this is seriously the sweetest thing ever. What a clever little girl you are! I'm so happy for you and I can't wait to hear all about this little fella once he gets here. I need to send you a baby gift! Everyone I know is having GIRLS and I wanna make something for a boy!!!!!! They are so adorable!

foxy said...

Holy Moly! Congratulations. I've been a little MIA myself, and just swung by to see you you are doing and ended up spending the past 45 minutes reading back thru all of your posts to find THIS AWESOME NEWS! WOWZERS!

You're gonna have another class of 2030 baby! Congratulations Mama!

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