as most of you know, B has been working up in rhode island since march of 2011. it hasn't been ideal...in fact, it sucks the big one.
he's had to miss almost everything over the last year. he even missed the ultrasound where we found out mack's gender. (i had a whole thing set up to announce it that was just waiting for him when he got home later that day, so we made the best of it.) he missed mack laughing for the first time. he missed mack scooting for the first time. he's missed so many cuddles, smiles, and kisses goodnight.
i've tried to be positive about it all and i'm truly grateful that he has a job, especially one that he enjoys and that pays well enough for me to be able to stay home with mack, but it's been tough...for both of us. he hates that he only gets to see his son on the weekends and that he's missed most of his first 3 months. he hates having to say goodbye to us at the end of every weekend and that most days he only gets to see us via webcam and photos. he hates that he doesn't get to read mack bedtime stories or hold me in his arms as we fall asleep. he hates that he can't be with us every day.
i hate it, too.
this was supposed to be a really fast project. he was supposed to be home by christmas, in plenty of time for mack's arrival, but it got delayed. then he was supposed to be home in march, but it got delayed. then he was supposed to be home in may. guess what. it's delayed again. the latest timeline shows that at the earliest he'll be home in july, but most likely not until august. yup, august. a year and a half living apart. a year and a half of picking him up from the airport (an hour drive) friday afternoons and getting up at 4am on monday mornings to drive him all the way back to get back on a plane to return to a challenging job and a tiny house that he can't call home.
i've been really good at reminding myself that it could be worse, that he could be fighting a war in some undisclosed location where we wouldn't even have weekends together, but i'm tired of putting on a brave face. so, for one brief moment, i'm going to let myself be upset. i'm going to let myself cry. i'm going to get it all out of my system...then i'm going to put that brave face back on and i'm going to smile. i'm going to tell my husband how much i appreciate his sacrifice to provide for us. i'm going to support him.
friends, will you do me a favor? hug & kiss your husband/significant other. tell him how much you love him. tell him how much you appreciate him. show him how important he is to you. be grateful that he will be by your side as you lay in bed tonight.