when i say i married my best friend, i don't mean it like, my spouse is my best friend. no, i mean it like, we were literally best friends who fell in love.
B and i became best friends as soon as we met. we lived a couple of blocks away from each other, worked together, went to the same church, and even carpooled together everywhere. we were inseparable!
most people probably thought we were already dating, because we spent so much time together, but dating was the last thing i wanted when we met. you see, i had just gotten out of an engagement. yup, i was engaged before i met B. it ended badly and let's just say that i chose to move across the country to get away from this guy, it was so bad.
anyway, yeah... i wasn't looking for a relationship at that point, just a friend. and there was B, all 6'9" of him! he was not my type at all, too tall (i usually went with guys that i could stand on my tip-toes to kiss, not that had to bend down to meet me halfway), too fair (i usually dated guys with tan skin, dark hair, and brown eyes), and too nice (i usually found myself with jerks).
we got along great, though. his openness and sarcastic sense of humor quickly drew me in and i craved his company. he was the type of guy i could be around without worrying about getting hurt.
of course, we flirted a bit, but that was just my nature. i never intended to give him the wrong idea. so, it came as a bit of a shock when we were hanging out in his room talking one night and he said, "i think i'm falling in love with you."
what?!? my mind was racing. i had no idea how to respond, how to diffuse the situation. of course he isn't in love with me, i thought, he only thinks he is because we're around each other 24/7.
as untactfully as i've ever said anything in my life, i replied, "oh. well...maybe we're spending too much time together."
what a horrible thing to say! i could suddenly feel the tension in the air. it was beyond uncomfortable and i wanted to leave right then and there, but i had to try to smooth it over.
i suddenly remembered that a friend of his had mentioned wanting to set him up with a friend the week before. maybe i could redirect his feelings and save our friendship. yup, that's what i was going to do!
"why don't we take a few days to think things over? you should go on that date. in fact, you could do that friday night, because i'm going to a concert with my roommate that night, and we can meet up after to talk things over."
he agreed and we planned to spend the next few days apart then for me to come over after i got home from the concert. he even said he'd leave the back door unlocked, so i could just let myself in.
friday night came and i was ready to go to the concert...but my roommate was nowhere to be seen. i couldn't go without her, because she had the tickets, so i sat and waited, but she never showed up. apparently, she had fallen asleep while studying at her mom's house and i was left all alone with nothing to do.
then it dawned on me that B's back door was unlocked and he had cable, which i did not. i'd just hang out over there in front of his TV till he got home. perfect plan!
when i got there, the house was empty, all of his roommates were out for the night, so it was just me and the remote, which was fine by me. i thought i should at least call him to let him know i was there...just in case.
the phone rang...and rang...and rang... then his voicemail picked up. i left a brief message (just letting him know my plans fell through and that i was at his house) and got back to my show, but i couldn't get into it. something made me uneasy and i realized that that was the first time that he hadn't answered my call. why didn't he answer my call? why didn't he want to talk to me? he probably just didn't want to be rude to his date. maybe he was having a lot of fun with her. wait a minute...i don't want him having fun with another girl. he should only be having fun with me!
and so my green-eyed monster came out and jealousy overtook me. i couldn't seem to stop myself as i picked up the phone and dialed his number again. voicemail. i left another message. after about a half hour, i called again, this time it went straight to voicemail, which told me he had turned his phone off. i began to feel an inkling of panic, but i tried to keep myself composed as i waited on his couch for his return. i couldn't say how many times i called and left messages, but it was probably bordering on stalker status.
he finally walked in at about 1am to find me asleep on his couch. he gently picked me up and carried me to his bedroom then made himself a bed on the couch.
i felt more sane the next morning, even though i woke up in someone else's bed. the events of the night before immediately returned to me and i knew i had some thinking to do.
B acted like nothing had happened, not even mentioning the dozen or so messages i'd left for him. i certainly wasn't about to bring up my temporary insanity, so we just hung out like everything was normal.
i asked him how his date went and he told me that it was great. so, i asked if he was going to ask her out again. "it depends," he replied. i knew what that meant, which gave me hope, but i didn't go any further with the conversation, at least not until i knew what i was going to do.
i took the next few days to think, trying to figure out what i wanted and if was even ready for it all. yes, i decided. yes, this is love and yes, i'm going to tell him and we would figure things out from there.
the following wednesday, we went out to eat.
"i have to tell you something," i began.
he got very still as he waited. he probably thought i was going to tell him that i was moving back to texas out of embarrassment or, better yet, that i was ready to be institutionalized after my crazy behavior.
"i think i'm falling in love with you, too," i said shyly.
a huge grin spread across his face. (he later told me that he was so happy that he wanted to jump up and down, but controlled himself since he was in the middle of a busy restaurant.)
"so where do you see this going?" he asked.
"i don't know. what do you think?"
"well, i guess my goal would be to get married," he said slowly, unsure of my reaction.
"is that a short term or long term goal?" i asked with a smile.
"short term. definitely short term," he answered, smiling back.
we were married only three months later.
today is our 10th wedding anniversary and i can honestly say that the best decision i ever made was to marry my best friend. i loved him then, but i love him even more now. it's amazing how your love can grow and evolve, how limitless and all-encompassing it can be. there are no words to describe the depth of it, nor to describe my gratitude for him.
this is my happily ever after.