the hits keep on coming. it seems like life is a bit topsy-turvy lately, with extreme highs and lows. it's almost as if each bit of good news is followed by tremendously bad news, rather cyclically, trapped on the hamster wheel.
we weren't "trying". we weren't preventing, either, but we certainly weren't "trying", which is why it came as such a surprise, but pregnancy #5 ended before i'd even known it had arrived.
|one of the many faces of infertility|
of course i was sad and disappointed when the doctor confirmed that i was miscarrying, but, oddly enough, i felt this overwhelming sense of peace. i hadn't known i was pregnant, so i hadn't had time to get attached, which is a blessing in disguise. i just felt a renewed sense of hope that i can get pregnant without fertility treatments. i just wish my doctors could figure out why my body rejects every pregnancy.
more than anything, this experience has reiterated the fact that mack is a "miracle baby". so, after all of this, i hold him a little longer, hug him a little tighter, and kiss him a bit too much. luckily, he doesn't seem to mind.