i've often described our journey toward parenthood as a roller coaster ride, but this year has been like a roller coaster ride on steroids.
first off, my apologies for my absence, but by the end of this post, you'll understand why blogging had to temporarily fall to the bottom of my list.
i'll do this chronologically, to keep it simple...
february: eye surgery, which kept me off the computer for about 2 months while i healed.
march: started up a fresh round of IVF to hopefully make mack a big brother.
april: BFP. yup, the first round of IVF took...but it didn't last long. my HCG levels were low, which, of course, ended in an early miscarriage. the good news from this was that we harvested 36 eggs, 24 were mature, 19 fertilized, (after two were implanted) 15 made it to freeze. such a huge blessing! the round was definitely worth it just to give us more chances in the future without having to go through a fresh round. (if you've never been through IVF, trust me when i say that it is grueling. multiple shots every day, surgery to harvest the eggs, hormotional roller coaster for you and everyone around you, and all of this with no guarantee that you'll get pregnant, let alone be able to bring home a baby.
may: started the frozen cycle to transfer two of our little frosties. things were looking so good, until B found out that there was a chance he would be getting laid off. scary stuff, not fun to deal with while you're hopped up on hormones. we decided to just have faith and move forward, implanting two embryos at the end of the month.
june: BFP, but this time with really high HCG levels! woohoo! then we got blindsided...a few days after testing positive at home, my dad had a massive heart attack, which landed him in the hospital with a not-so-great prognosis. being so far away was tough, but i did get to tell him over the phone that i was pregnant. he was so happy for us and said that he had a good feeling about this one. he soon took a turn for the worse, but before he passed, told my sisters that he was going to go to heaven and send down an angel baby for me. that was my dad, always looking out for us, wanting to give us everything he could right up to his last moment here on earth. after my HCG levels came back so great, my doctor cleared me to fly home for the funeral (i hate that i had to say goodbye to him over the phone). i'm just so glad i was able to be with my family for it, even though it was so tough. as soon as we got back from texas, i had my first ultrasound. twins! but the doctor wasn't sure if baby B was going to make it, since it was measuring small.
july: weekly ultrasounds with the RE to monitor baby B. unfortunately, there was no progress, which left baby A as a singleton. it was disappointing and relieving at the same time. i'm not going to lie, the thought of having twins while caring for a toddler scared the crap out of me! either way, i was just grateful to have at least one healthy baby in there. as for B's job, he survived the round of lay-offs, but it scared him enough to start looking for a new job. he was quickly offered a position with a smaller company with more opportunities for him and more job security. so far, it's been a great fit!
august: still pregnant. yay! morning sickness ended at about 10 weeks, which was heaven-sent. i was just started to feel good, more like myself, when we got more bad news. B's mom had stopped eating; her organs were shutting down. B's dad was ever optimistic, saying that she would get through this, that hospice was there and helping her to eat again, but her frail little body was done and she soon passed quietly in her sleep. after 10 years of her suffering, it was easy to see that this was what was best. we mourned her departure from us, but were able to celebrate her life and her release from her bodily prison. B handled it all very well and i was happy to be able to support him the way he had supported me in june. without each other, and mack, of course, i don't know how either of us would have survived the summer. after we got back from utah, we had an appointment for a 3D ultrasound, to find out the gender of the little alien growing inside me. it was a wonderful experience and a perfect time for a pick-me-up, and...we were thrilled to find out that mack is getting a baby brother!!!
september: we made it to the 20 week ultrasound! our little boy is growing and thriving. mack has no clue what's going on, but at least understands what a baby is and that he needs to be gentle with them. it's really sweet how excited he gets when he sees a baby now. he points, says "baby!" and starts talking to him/her in his own language. :) well, we had to know that more bad news was coming, so it really didn't surprise us when we found out last week that B's dad (who has been dealing with lung cancer for the past year) now has a tumor on his brain. we don't know the details of it or what he has decided as for his treatment, but we're doing all we can to support him and the rest of his family as we continue on this journey with this added trial.
well, it's october now and things are settling down for the most part. i'm feeling great physically (almost 22 weeks along now!) and nesting has certainly kicked in, so i have lots to blog about and i plan to get back in the swing of things here. stay tuned for lots of updates, especially in the home decor department. i have projects that need to be posted about, projects in the works, and plans for more projects as i redecorate our home and do another DIY nursery. did i mention i'm nesting? ;)