Wednesday, October 2, 2013

This, That & Everything In Between

i've often described our journey toward parenthood as a roller coaster ride, but this year has been like a roller coaster ride on steroids.

first off, my apologies for my absence, but by the end of this post, you'll understand why blogging had to temporarily fall to the bottom of my list.

i'll do this chronologically, to keep it simple...

february: eye surgery, which kept me off the computer for about 2 months while i healed.

march: started up a fresh round of IVF to hopefully make mack a big brother.

april: BFP. yup, the first round of IVF took...but it didn't last long. my HCG levels were low, which, of course, ended in an early miscarriage. the good news from this was that we harvested 36 eggs, 24 were mature, 19 fertilized, (after two were implanted) 15 made it to freeze. such a huge blessing! the round was definitely worth it just to give us more chances in the future without having to go through a fresh round. (if you've never been through IVF, trust me when i say that it is grueling. multiple shots every day, surgery to harvest the eggs, hormotional roller coaster for you and everyone around you, and all of this with no guarantee that you'll get pregnant, let alone be able to bring home a baby.

may: started the frozen cycle to transfer two of our little frosties. things were looking so good, until B found out that there was a chance he would be getting laid off. scary stuff, not fun to deal with while you're hopped up on hormones. we decided to just have faith and move forward, implanting two embryos at the end of the month.

june: BFP, but this time with really high HCG levels! woohoo! then we got blindsided...a few days after testing positive at home, my dad had a massive heart attack, which landed him in the hospital with a not-so-great prognosis. being so far away was tough, but i did get to tell him over the phone that i was pregnant. he was so happy for us and said that he had a good feeling about this one. he soon took a turn for the worse, but before he passed, told my sisters that he was going to go to heaven and send down an angel baby for me. that was my dad, always looking out for us, wanting to give us everything he could right up to his last moment here on earth. after my HCG levels came back so great, my doctor cleared me to fly home for the funeral (i hate that i had to say goodbye to him over the phone). i'm just so glad i was able to be with my family for it, even though it was so tough. as soon as we got back from texas, i had my first ultrasound. twins! but the doctor wasn't sure if baby B was going to make it, since it was measuring small.

july: weekly ultrasounds with the RE to monitor baby B. unfortunately, there was no progress, which left baby A as a singleton. it was disappointing and relieving at the same time. i'm not going to lie, the thought of having twins while caring for a toddler scared the crap out of me! either way, i was just grateful to have at least one healthy baby in there. as for B's job, he survived the round of lay-offs, but it scared him enough to start looking for a new job. he was quickly offered a position with a smaller company with more opportunities for him and more job security. so far, it's been a great fit!

august: still pregnant. yay! morning sickness ended at about 10 weeks, which was heaven-sent. i was just started to feel good, more like myself, when we got more bad news. B's mom had stopped eating; her organs were shutting down. B's dad was ever optimistic, saying that she would get through this, that hospice was there and helping her to eat again, but her frail little body was done and she soon passed quietly in her sleep. after 10 years of her suffering, it was easy to see that this was what was best. we mourned her departure from us, but were able to celebrate her life and her release from her bodily prison. B handled it all very well and i was happy to be able to support him the way he had supported me in june. without each other, and mack, of course, i don't know how either of us would have survived the summer. after we got back from utah, we had an appointment for a 3D ultrasound, to find out the gender of the little alien growing inside me. it was a wonderful experience and a perfect time for a pick-me-up, and...we were thrilled to find out that mack is getting a baby brother!!!

september: we made it to the 20 week ultrasound! our little boy is growing and thriving. mack has no clue what's going on, but at least understands what a baby is and that he needs to be gentle with them. it's really sweet how excited he gets when he sees a baby now. he points, says "baby!" and starts talking to him/her in his own language. :) well, we had to know that more bad news was coming, so it really didn't surprise us when we found out last week that B's dad (who has been dealing with lung cancer for the past year) now has a tumor on his brain. we don't know the details of it or what he has decided as for his treatment, but we're doing all we can to support him and the rest of his family as we continue on this journey with this added trial.

well, it's october now and things are settling down for the most part. i'm feeling great physically (almost 22 weeks along now!) and nesting has certainly kicked in, so i have lots to blog about and i plan to get back in the swing of things here. stay tuned for lots of updates, especially in the home decor department. i have projects that need to be posted about, projects in the works, and plans for more projects as i redecorate our home and do another DIY nursery. did i mention i'm nesting? ;)

12 comments:

J o s e y said...

Phew, what a rollercoaster of a year you have had. I'm so glad we've connected through Instagram so I at least knew a little of what's been going on! So much joy & sadness in waves...

dspence said...

I am so glad to hear your voice! The past 10 months sound completely crazy. I'm so sorry for your losses. Excited for this pregnancy, though! Praise God! Can't wait to hear more.

SLESE1014 said...

OMG Carlia, I can't imagine having the roller coaster you've had this year. And to have survived it all is amazing. It's wonderful to hear your voice again! Congrats on the baby brother. Mack will be an excellent big brother. I'm so sorry for your losses and I hope the joy of the new baby, an angel sent from you dad :), brings you much happiness in the new year! Take care of you and Mack and B....thinking of all of you and your families!

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Dang...I was just thinking about you the other day. I am so happy to see a post from you. Sorry to hear about your losses.

OMG! YA on your pregnancy! This news brought me to tears! So happy for you guys and love that Mac will have a little brother soon!!!

Stephanie said...

I can't even wrap my head around all the heartbreak your family has had to deal with in the last several months. I am so sorry, Carlia! I'm glad your post was able to end on a high note and that's your PREGNANCY! Congrats!!! I was excited to see a post from you in my reader and hope to get more updates as your pregnancy progresses, and to hear more about that sweet Mack too! :)

Fiona said...

I am so happy to see this post from you!! Gosh, I can't imagine how hard so much of this year has been for you and your family. So sorry for the loss early on in the year.. and for the news with B's bad :( But so so happy for you and this pregnancy!!!! Hope to see more posts from you soon!

Bridget said...

It's good to see you writing again, I've missed you! Glad I get to keep up on IG!

cate said...

I have been thinking of you! I am so so sorry for the heart ache and so thrilled for the joy 2013 has brought you!

Cant wait to see pictures of your baby bump!

Liveseygirl said...

Oh my goodness what a year! Glad everything is going so well with the pregnancy. I haven't has to go through IVF but a close friend of mine did. She has 3 girls (one set of twins). She had 5 eggs when the twins were conceived but they planted them all because they said her body just wasn't responding to the hormones and it was her only chance. You have obviously been doing a great job of looking after yourself if baby is doing so well even with all that stress x

SHILLIG4FAMILY said...

love you.

Heather said...

Oh my... what a rollercoaster of emotion!!! I'm so sorry for your losses, but so thrilled to hear of a baby on the way!!! Many prayers for a healthy remainder of your pregnancy.

Heather Julian said...

I'm a new follower from the bloggy moms. I'm in Waldorf, MD and love to connect with local bloggers.

This was the first post I read of yours and WOW. What an emotional & physical roller coaster for you and your family. Congratulations on your new pregnancy.

My Husband & I had a less that 1% chance of conceiving after he had a vasectomy reversal, here we are 3 years later, with a 1 & 3 year old! Miracles, do happen!

Heather
@SugarNSpiceLife
SugarNSpice-Life.Com

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